Just who are your real friends on Facebook?

‘…not real friends just Facebook friends’. Is FB devaluing the term Friend? Should they have called them something else?

This got me thinking…for a few years there has been a lot of talk about Dunbar’s Number. Dunbar’s Number refers to a theory that there is a limit to the amount of relationships we can maintain. Beyond that number, you simply cannot maintain a meaningful relationship. Dunbar sets that number at a maximum of 150 people

In October of 2009, Seth Godin proclaimed that: Dunbar’s Number isn’t just a number, it’s the law. He makes a good argument that once you reach beyond your Dunbar number your message effectiveness changes as a side-effect of the intimacy of your relationship changing.

Supporting this, Switched.com explored How Many Facebook Friends Do We Have, For Real? I urge you to look at the eye-opening research they performed to explore ‘friend’ engagement.

But not everyone agrees with the relevance of Dunbar’s number to social media. Contrary to Seth Godin’s take that you must have ‘strong ties’ to your audience to be effective, Morten Hansen puts forward in his book Collaboration that the real value of collaboration and networks comes from weak relationships rather than from strong relationships and networks.  One of Morten’s network rules is “build weak ties, not strong ones.”

According to Morten: “…research shows that weak ties can prove much more helpful in networking, because they form bridges to worlds we do not walk within.  Strong ties, on the other hand, tend to be worlds we already know; a good friends often knows many of the same people and things we know.  They are not the best when it comes to searching for new jobs, ideas, experts, and knowledge.  Weak ties re also good because they take less time.  It’s less time consuming to talk to someone once a month (weak tie) than twice a week (a strong tie).  People can keep up quite a few weak ties without them being a burden.”

At first blush I would agree. Especially when we are looking at making a social media brand relationship. I do not have a ‘strong tie’ to any of the brands I engage with on Facebook or Twitter, we do not have regular lengthy conversations nor have I found myself buying a round of drinks for either author Christopher Moore, or Hyatt Hotels and Resorts Careers. But, I have found that I can engage with them on a semi-regular basis very easily.

I get information from each which I would otherwise have no way of knowing and, if I so desire, I can have a micro-engagement with little effort. From a brand perspective, whether engaging me as a would-be book reader/buyer or a possible job applicant, that level of engagement is enough — they open me up for deeper engagement according to my needs in response to the value I am exposed to by my ‘weak connection’. The same ‘weak tie’ value can be seen by anyone who is ann of a consumer brand and yet takes advantage of an online coupon or special promoted through a social media channel.

So what do we call these ‘weak connections’ in our networks, specifically Facebook? My proposed answer: they are a Facequaintance.

Someone who you have ‘friended’ on Facebook but don’t really know or keep in touch with. You generally don’t know anyone who ever comments on their Wall and wouldn’t know them even if they walked right up to you and slapped you.

Usage: “Yea, I’m friends with her but we’ve only met, like, once. She’s just a Facequaintance.”